"What If?"

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brigitte linfordI came across this photo taken January 2013 of me working at the kitchen table with Phoebe sitting on my lap and a FLOOD of emotions came over me.I can remember this time of my life so well!Juggling three kids at home. Working from the kitchen table on my OLD laptop that would constantly freeze up. Sacrificing cleaning time to respond to messages. Sacrificing personal time and SLEEP for a chance to check into my challenge groups. I know so many people thought I was crazy for signing up to be a Beachbody coach! Who was I to think I could do something like this? I was kicked out of college twice for bad grades, making myself the only kid in my family who doesn’t have a college degree. I failed at my attempt to be a real estate agent. My work experience involved being a waitress. I only knew a small group of people and I had NO CLUE how to utilize social media. I can understand the doubt others had in me, I had doubts myself!

But luckily I was MADE AWARE of how much I was living BENEATH myself. I was sick and tired of letting opportunities pass me by. I was sick and tired of living with regret! I was SICK AND TIRED of doing NOTHING with my life. I knew if I didn’t give this my ALL I would always wonder “what if”.

Funny thing is every once in awhile I still think about “what if”. I wonder how different my life would be now if I HADN’T put in the work. How different would my kids’ lives be? In the past 2.5 years I have set a LOT of goals that never happened. WHAT IF I had let disappointment take over? WHAT IF I had listened to the naysayers? WHAT IF I hadn’t been willing to make sacrifices and put myself out there?

The thought makes me shudder. How GRATEFUL I am that I was willing to let go of something GOOD for something BETTER. And how grateful I am to know I’m still far from MY BEST.

I’m more aware than ever that I have SO MUCH to figure out and learn. I am uncomfortable with where I’m at right now because in my heart I KNOW God has planted in me an ability to DO MORE.

But I’ve heard at any given moment you have the power to say this is NOT how the story is going to end. I’m not letting MY STORY end here. I’m ready. Ready for MANY MORE THINGS to go terribly wrong because I know in reality it’s ALL GOOD NEWS. It will lead me to an even BETTER place.

#NotReadyToLimitGodsBlessings #BringOn2015