HOLY CRAP!! What kind of pure awesomeness do we have here?
A 1996 Honda Cvic.
Get out of here.
And it’s for FREE?????
Yep it’s true! And this car has…
AND get this… it runs.
Questions you might have about our sweet ride.
1. How many miles of pure adrenaline have you put on this baby? A: 189,696. All heart pounding.
2. I get tired of whistling. Does this vehicle come equipped with some sort of music generating device? A: Yes. It plays one CD at a time. And is able to tune in to MULTIPLE radio stations. Eureka! Who comes up with this stuff?!!!
3. When you decided to give away a car for free, were you thinking that you might have underpriced the cost of a dream come true? A. Yes. Yes I did.
4. What is the car’s history? A. Born in 1996. Unknown childhood history. Bought by Brigitte in 2001. Whom lovingly cared for and maintained this car for 4 years. At which point Brigitte’s parents bought the car for her three younger siblings. Younger siblings thrashed, crashed, and used the car as a prop for unicycle stunt videos.
5. Is starting the car a problem? A: This baby has never had a problem starting. During the cold months, however, it does like to do what I call a “celebrated start”. As you start driving down the street it makes a bit of a squeal to say “We’re going somewhere! Hooray!” And let’s be honest here. I’m clearly a big deal. I don’t have time to drive to Les Schwab and get a new belt for 50 bucks. Not when I have to mow the lawn. Refer to item #3.
6. What if I live in Idaho and I get cold and hot, all in the same day? A. Good thing the A/C and the heat both work fabulously.
7. The random dents in the hood of the car and side of the passenger door. . ..is that included for free? A: You’re welcome. I’ve been told “chicks dig scars” and “chicks dig cars.” A scarred car is the ideal scenario then no?
8. Is there a free arm workout included ? A. Better believe it! Every time you roll down the windows you get to actually ROLL down the windows. And each time you manually unlock and lock the doors, finger exercises.
9. Is driving this car therapeutic? A. Yessiree! You know how normal people freak out when they get a tiny scratch in their car because they pay a thousand bucks just to get it fixed? You will never know this anxiety!!
10: Does this car protect me against paparazzi? A. Why yes. The back right door doesn’t open. Which is PERFECT for when you’re famous and don’t want your fans to grab you and pull you out.
11: What is the paint scheme? A: Luckily we included many colors on this bad boy. The front is blue. The back bumper is a dark green. The trim is black, except for where it was scraped off. In which case it’s grey. And the top of the car is sun kissed (aka white grayish blue). Talk about curb appeal.
12. Does it come with a mechanic? A: NO. I cannot guarantee that it will “last at least a year” or that “it will make it all the way to California this fall” My crystal ball broke a lonnnnnnnng time ago. But hey — free car.
Yours for FREE. Really.
It’s okay to cry. The fulfillment of your wildest fantasies are just a quick form away.
((That means if you want ownership of this beauty fill out this form and I’ll select one lucky owner.))