This Friday is the anniversary of a family nightmare.

The day we went ice skating as a family.

The day Phoebe fell...

The day my skate sliced her pinky in half.

You can read more about the accident HERE.

I remember people telling me one day I would be able to laugh about it. I couldn't FATHOM that EVER being so.

But I HAVE been able to forgive myself. I've been OK with it all.

And yet, it's just been an odd experience this year preparing for Christmas. All the yearly traditions are now reminders of doing the same thing last year, right before the accident.

Reminders of the accident, over, and over, and over.

I keep catching myself with pits in my stomach, lumps in my throat, and eyes brimmed with tears.

Kind of frustrating when you do lots of therapy and processing about something and FINALLY feel like you're in a good place. To only feel the emotions all over again, and realize there's still a layer of healing to be had.

I realized the other day I still had some issues when my friend took her family ice skating. It made me SO NERVOUS to hear they were going. Replays flooding my mind.

Then I saw this friend share a video of her daughter {about Phoebe's age} skating on the ice.

Seeing that little clip of a Facebook video {cuz I did NOT continue watching} gave me an amplified PIT in my stomach that wouldn't go away.

I was FINE. I AM fine. I am okay with this. And yet....

 you can't get rid of old memories but you can create new better ones!

I've felt anxious about this anniversary coming.

SOOOO..... we made plans to occupy the space of this anniversary with NEW POSITIVE memories.

~ Friday we're taking a trip up north for a North Pole Experience in Flagstaff. A night sledding and playing in the snow.

~ Christmas in our HOME.

~ The last week of the year visiting some family.

~ And the first week of the new year on a secluded beach in Mexico. Seven miles of private beach in a beach home just four hours from our house in Puerto Penasco, Mexico.

 The best thing about Memories is making them!
New memories

The same two weeks Phoebe spent confined to a hospital bed last year.... THIS YEAR, spent quite differently.

❤️ Here's to new memories.