It feels like a lifetime ago, in reality tomorrow will be five weeks.

• Five weeks since [what is now referred to as] "the accident".

• Five weeks since I went flying and snapped this photo.

The day of my last flight lesson was the day Phoebe's finger got cut off. I think the day was cursed. The flight lesson that morning didn't go so well. I had been struggling with my instructor since the second lesson, but that day was a breaking point, the last straw.

I admit I've been scared to fly again. Namely scared to face this instructor, get back in a plane with him, and spend mental energy seeking the perfect way to word questions so as to not offend him.

It's been on my mind a lot. During one of my workouts the other day I felt a ray of clarity filling my mind.

"This is the same lesson you learned in dating. It doesn't have to be this hard."

I instantly knew what that meant and what I needed to do. And peace filled my mind.

You see, I dated some good guys before Jayson. And I dated some losers. But I had in my mind that "marriage is hard", and I knew growing up I didn't ever want to get a divorce, so in my mind I couldn't be a quitter and develop a habit of giving up on relationships.

Funny the illogical beliefs we create as kids.

This lead to me staying in a lot of dating relationships for wayyyyyyy too long. Not calling it quits when it clearly wasn't meant to be because "I'm not a quitter."

That lead me to an abusive relationship. I don't feel like getting in the details of that right now.....but by the time I was free of that abusive relationship I could see my stubbornness in not giving up wasn't always for my benefit. 🙈 I promised myself when the signs were there, I would LISTEN and not STAY in relationships I clearly wasn't suppose to be in. I prayed for an EASY relationship.

Nine months later I met Jayson. And it was the EASIEST relationship I had ever been in. It just made SENSE. I didn't have to force anything, it just flowed. Sure we have had hard times, but Jayson is my rock.

For some reason I've approached flying with the same "this is suppose to be hard" mentality.

Well, I don't have to make it harder than it already is just to prove I'm not a quitter! There's enough to think about while flying! Spending mental energy to make sure I jump thru hoops and word things the PERFECT way for this instructor so he doesn't BITE off my head is just silly.

So today I took action.

I JUST walked in and talked to the owner of the flight school, I told him how I felt, and I asked for a different flight instructor.

I kindly stood up for myself.

And I feel good about it.

Just felt I should share though! Life is hard as it is! But don't make it HARDER than it has to be. I think it's easy to do that in a number of ways.

At least that's the lesson I've learned {and I'm currently relearning} in my own life.