I'M NOT A QUITTER

There's nothing cute or fun about crying after a flight lesson.  

Really, it's quite embarrassing that my instructor had to give me ten minutes to pull myself together in a break room and gain my composure.  

It's extremely frustrating. And it's more than just new information coming my way, I feel there's a disconnect between me and my instructor. My instructor has a very specific style of teaching, and it is so NOT in line with my style of learning.  

When I ask clarifying questions, or I THINK I'm doing what he's asking {but apparently I'm not} - I keep hearing "Stop being argumentative Brigitte. Stop fighting with me."  

It bugs me to be told I'm being argumentative when in MY mind, I'm just asking questions to learn how to fly this darn plane.  

After today's lesson my instructor expected me to quit. "I don't know if you want to continue on or what...." 

 

Well to be honest with you guys, I was so done. All I could think is "I want to quit! This guy is such a jerk! I want to yell at my instructor, I want to swear, I want to walk out of this building and never look back!"

But instead, I said a little prayer. I asked God for strength and composure. I prayed for the ability to face my instructor and continue on. And somewhere deep within I felt this small little voice speaking up ..... 

"I am not a quitter."

"I am not a quitter. I am not a quitter." Over and over again I repeated that phrase to myself, each time with more conviction. I snapped a photo to remember this moment, wiped the tears away, took some deep breaths, and walked back into the office. I surprised my instructor by telling him I'd like to continue on and finish the lesson planned for today.  

This is no doubt, the HARDEST thing I have EVER done. It's apparent to me after seven lessons now that my instructor is who he is. I can't change him, I can only change me. So somehow I'm going to have to learn how to change my wording, change my questions, change my approach as a student. Right now I'm clueless on how to do that. But if I'm going to learn how to fly from this instructor it's up to ME to adjust.  

Even if I'm documenting it with a less than flattering photo, this is me declaring to the world-----> I AM NOT A QUITTER!!!!! I WILL learn how to fly.  

{Sorry for the novel. Just a moment I needed to document for myself.}